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An Anger Management Nightmare: Absolute Thinking

There are various ways of thinking and making decisions.  There are those that are quick to make judgments.  There are others who are black/white thinkers and see things as two distinct and polar extremes.  Then there are perfectionists, who mourn the loss of anything that happens in their world that doesn't align with their idea of perfectionism.  Of course, we can't forget those individuals who "should" all over people, as in "you should do this, you shouldn't do that".

Some of the biggest mistakes in communication are made by simply using absolutist vocabulary such as words like: most, least or just; all, every or none; best, worst; always, forever, never.

Rather than using words that create defensiveness in another because they create the absolute situation.  Better word choices might include: some, may, might, seems, can, could, probably, almost.

Communication is probably one of the most difficult challenges in the human existence.  It is one of the few things in life that is totally necessary in order to develop, sustain and maintain a relationship. 

Those who struggle with good anger management often describe their communication as problematic and if they don't, it is easily identified as such by a qualified professional.  While most people will never "unlearn" a communication pattern that is problematic, they can certainly learn a new approach to supersede an existing way that caused problems.

Where does one learn better communication?  Contrary to popular belief, anger management can be learned by taking an anger management class.  These classes can be taken online or in person, depending on what your preference may be.  Get out of the nightmare of being an absolutist!  Get help for anger management and gain good communication skills before it's too late.

U.S. Marine Corps to Use AJ Novick Group & Century Anger Management Program and Curriculum

Laguna Beach, CA. The AJ Novick Group, Inc and Century Anger Management are pleased to announce the partnership with the United States Marine Corps. The U.S. Marine Corps has decided to use the Century Anger Management model of intervention in all 16 U.S. based military installations throughout the country.

Laguna Beach, CA. The AJ Novick Group, Inc and Century Anger Management are pleased to announce the partnership with the United States Marine Corps. The U.S. Marine Corps has decided to use the Century Anger Management model of intervention in all 16 U.S. based military installations throughout the country.

"We are extremely pleased that our anger management model of intervention was chosen as the program of choice for the U.S. Marine Corps", says Dr. Novick, founder and president of Century Anger Management and the AJ Novick Group, Inc. The Marine Corps did an exhaustive search for a evidence based anger management program that could be easily implemented and utilized by all personnel. Dr Novick states, "We recognize that anger can be a pervasive problem and have developed a program that will teach critical coping skills to help our enlisted men and women better improve their relationships".

The AJ Novick Group and Century Anger Management have been providing anger management training, products and certification for 7 years. Their courses are available both online and in person. Their curriculum is available through their websites at either or

Find An Anger Management Class

We often get phone calls from people seeking anger management.  Often, the call is desperate from either the caller needing anger management before they lose an important relationship, or it is from someone seeking anger management for a friend or loved one who has hurt them. 

As a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice, I also see the same problem with couples coming in for couples counseling.  They often wait until their relationship is on life support and then seek help.  Often, its too late.

My advice is to encourage people to seek help provactively.  Don't wait until the problem is at its worst.  Get help early on.  Prevention is key to making positive changes and creates the highest probability that your life and relationships will stay intact.  If you are local to southern Calfornia, then you might want to consider a local anger management class.  Another great alternative is to consider taking a reputable and trusted online anger management class.

Don't be a statisitic.  Take control of making the changes you need in your life today!

Top 4 Reasons to Get Anger Under Control

Anger is a powerful emotion.  It is one emotion that all human beings experience.  It can often have lasting and damaging effects on others if we do not learn how to control ourselves and our impulses.  After seeing hundreds of new clients each year over the last 8 years, I have come to see some common similarities of how anger can cause serious problems in relationships.  I have also seen first hand how anger management classes can help.

Here is a short list of some of the main ways anger is problematic:

1. Angry outbursts in relationships take a serious toll.  Eventually the person(s) who have been inflicted will leave you.  As the old saying goes, "you can't un-ring a bell".  With anger, it's the same way.  You can't take back the devastating effects of a raging episode of anger.  Keep in mind, behavior is choice.  One can choose to behave good or poorly.  Anger can destroy a relationship that may have meant everything to you. 

2. Don't make important decisions while your angry.  Most people feel like problems must get resolved in the moment they happen and end up having their anger guide them in a direction that their normal thinking would not have taken them.  Most problems do not have to be solved in the moment.  In fact, other than a life or death situation, most problems can wait a few hours or even days. 

3. Anger steals our perspective.  When we get angry, we end up only seeing the side of the argument that makes sense to us.  When we are angry, our ability to see multiple perspectives gets out of wack and we end up passing judgment too quickly.  Don't let your anger take away your perspective. 

4. Manage expectations before you get upset.  Often our anger is the result of being let down or having an expectation that hasn't been met.  Learning how to manage expectations can help in staying calm and not feeling disappointed with ourselves or others.

One great way to learn how to better manage anger is through an anger management class or individual coaching for anger management.  Seek the help you need before you end up ruining a relationship that is important to you.

What Makes a Great Anger Management Class?

What makes a great anger management class Anger management classes can vary greatly, both in terms of content, but also in delivery.  Both of these elements need to be considered when choosing an anger management course.  You can have great content, but if the delivery method is terrible, it will make it difficult to learn.

Have you ever had an instructor that was so boring teaching your class?  It wouldn't matter how wonderful the material was, if you can't connect with how the materials are being presented, boredom sets in fast.  Anger management instruction is much the same.  Presentation makes a huge difference. 

Anger management classes are typically taught one of 3 ways.

1. In a group setting
2. In a one/one or coaching capacity
3. Taught in an online class

In a group setting, the instructor should be a trained and certified anger management professional or a licensed psychotherapist with training in anger management.  He or she should be able to present the material in a way that aligns with audience.  If the group is homogeneous, such as a group of corporate executives, then the language and examples can be more complex and intellectual.  If the group is comprised of high school age teens, then the tone and content would need to be adjusted to fit this audience.  An anger management class should be fun, uplifting, interesting and engaging.  The content needs to be from a reliable program, such as the Century Anger Management curriculum.

One on one coaching should be an engaging and didactic experience where the student and instructor are working close together on very specific skills.  Most one on one sessions will start with an assessment to determine areas that the client needs to focus on.  Then the instructor can then focus on those specific skills to help the client improve.  This might be in areas such as communication, stress management, empathy, or expectation management.

Last, anger management programs can also be taken online, but should only be taken online from a reputable and well known course provider.  An online anger management class has many advantages over a traditional program.  Advantages include 24 hour access to the class, a self-paced environment, and the ability to plan course time around ones schedule.  Quality online courses will teach the same concepts from a live class, but are delivered in a format that is user friendly and easy to understand.

Regardless of the format, finding the right anger management course can be challenging.  Just create a checklist of the things that are important to you, then seek out a program that matches those objectives.